Friends, whether it is love in a relationship or any other kind of bond, all connections stem from the mind. As long as the mind controls our consciousness, the profound experience of inner love will remain elusive. The mind is inherently restless—a whirlwind of thoughts. These thoughts do not allow us to live fully. At times, we are utterly devoted to our beloved, while at other times, we are upset with them. One moment, a gesture of theirs makes us happy; the next, the same action saddens us.
When we take our first breath after emerging from the womb, it is a breath of fear. But with the next breath, the newborn realizes that breathing is possible on its own. Yet, that first impression of fear imprints itself deeply onto the mind. From that moment, fear and thoughts enter our lives, and only in death do they release their grip.
The Connection Between Thoughts, Fear, and Relationships
Fear and thoughts are interconnected, and together, they pull us away from meaningful relationships. Today, we rely more on the mind and less on the soul. Thoughts and the mental patterns they create dominate us. The fear that begins in childhood grows stronger over time, fueled by family, society, and circumstances. But we are equally responsible, for we unknowingly perpetuate fear.
From a young age, we are frightened into compliance: “Don’t go outside, or the monster will get you. Don’t go into the dark, or the ghost will attack you.” These warnings evolve as we grow: “Why are you so afraid of the dark? Not every stranger is a thief. Show some courage. The world won’t eat you alive.” Fear governs us in childhood, and when it is challenged later, it leaves us confused.
Fear exists in everyone, but those who conquer it achieve great things. Even they feel fear, but they learn to control it with their very next breath. In relationships, fear plays a significant role. Betrayal, doubt, misunderstandings, and conflict are all rooted in fear. When fear is removed, love prevails. Fear diminishes only under two circumstances.
Fear in Two Situations: Powerlessness and Control
First, fear arises when we feel powerless—when circumstances seem beyond our control. In such moments, we fear that even love might betray us. This fear feeds doubt, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. When dominated by fear, we stop seeing with our own eyes and start seeing through the mirror of the mind, which distorts reality. Mirrors invert the truth, showing us what is false. This is why it is said, “Control your mind before it controls you.” A mind left unchecked will mislead you, turning reality upside down.
Second, fear manifests even when we feel completely in control. In such situations, we begin to assert dominance, not only over people but also over love itself. We expect love to conform to our terms, believing that if everything else bends to our will, so should love. But this too is born of fear—the fear of losing control. This fear compels us to impose our will on others, but love cannot be forced.
The Role of Awareness in Relationships
Our five senses—sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch—are tools through which we perceive the world. Yet, their effectiveness depends entirely on awareness. Eyes may see, but without attention, they cannot truly observe. If our awareness, guided by the soul, focuses through the senses, we perceive the world as it is. Without it, even open eyes fail to see.
Consider someone in deep sleep whose eyelids are slightly open. They appear to be looking, yet their gaze is inward, not outward. Similarly, in moments of heightened joy or distress, our focus narrows, and we become oblivious to our surroundings. The bustling market may vanish from our awareness if our thoughts are consumed by news of joy or grief. This demonstrates that perception relies not just on sensory organs but on the direction of our attention.
Love Beyond Fear and Thought
From this understanding, it becomes clear that sensory abilities alone do not lead to true connection. Only when our attention carries the sensory experience to our consciousness do we truly perceive. If we direct this same focused attention toward our beloved or love itself, all other distractions fade away. The world continues to exist, but it ceases to matter.
This is the essence of the love shared by Meera and Radha. Their love, undying and pure, became immortal. If such love is possible for them, why not for us? By overcoming fear and silencing the restless mind, we too can experience the depth and permanence of true love. Let love become the anchor of our awareness, leading us beyond fear, thoughts, and doubt into a state of boundless connection.
