Friends, we have experienced joy since childhood, yet we still struggle to truly understand what joy is. You might find this surprising and ask, “How can it be that we don’t understand joy?” But the truth is, what we think of as joy often eludes deeper comprehension.
There is little difference between joy (anand) and bliss (paramanand). Bliss is simply uninterrupted joy. Reflect for a moment—do you have any source of joy in your life today that brings the same happiness it once did in your childhood or youth? Likely, the answer is no. No joy has lasted perpetually in your life.
As a child, you might have loved a toy dearly. At that time, the joy that toy brought you was unparalleled. Yet, as you grew older, that same toy became meaningless. It was forgotten, relegated to a storeroom, and eventually sold to a scrap dealer. Today, you probably don’t even remember when or how that happened. Yet, as a child, you couldn’t bear to be parted from it, even for a moment. The joy it once gave you was extraordinary, but it’s no longer present. Life is filled with such examples—things that once brought immense joy but hold no meaning today. This shows that what we often call joy is fleeting happiness, lasting only for moments, months, or years, but not true joy.
Joy vs. Habitual Pursuits
Many of us find joy in habits like smoking, drinking, or consuming tea and coffee. Even if you don’t indulge in such vices, you likely derive pleasure from fine clothes, comfort, or luxury. But the joy these brought you when you first encountered them is no longer the same. Over time, these have become mere habits or necessities, devoid of joy. A similar pattern often plays out in relationships. Initially, the love between a couple, their conversations, and their togetherness bring immense joy. But as time passes, that joy diminishes and eventually reduces to routine or obligation. When this happens, love turns into habit—a dangerous signal for relationships.
Expecting joy from others is another reason for sourness in relationships. From childhood, we are taught to find happiness outside ourselves, not within. We grow up believing that others are the source of our joy or sorrow. Moreover, we confuse happiness with joy. This misconception blinds us to the moment when happiness transforms into deception or sorrow.
Inner Joy and Spiritual Awakening
A spiritual person, scientist, artist, or creator devotes their life to pursuing inner joy. They do not rely on others for happiness. Gradually, their happiness deepens into joy, and this joy fuels their passion and enhances their ability to work. Such individuals tirelessly strive for perfection, dedicating their entire lives to creation. For instance, Rabindranath Tagore, when asked by a friend near the end of his life which of his works he considered the best, smiled and said, “I could never write what I truly wanted to.” Imagine if we applied this mindset to our relationships. Such an approach could lead us to bliss (paramanand), which is nothing less than union with the divine.
Momentary Joy vs. Eternal Bliss
In life, physical intimacy is one of the few acts that provide a fleeting glimpse of joy. Beyond that, most experiences only bring temporary happiness. This fleeting joy during intimacy is nature’s way of signaling the vast difference between joy and bliss. In those brief moments, we forget everything; our eyes close naturally, and we become fully present. This serves as a divine message, inviting us to understand that the joy of intimacy pales in comparison to the bliss of spiritual awakening. Yet, many remain trapped in the pursuit of momentary joy, failing to see its limitations. This obsession not only strains relationships between partners but also disrupts family and societal bonds.
If we can transcend this pursuit of fleeting joy, many societal problems—crimes, exploitation, and broken relationships—would diminish. The practice of yoga can help us achieve continuous joy. Unlike fleeting pleasures, the joy attained through yoga does not fade but grows stronger over time, leading to bliss. However, we often neglect this path and remain consumed by transient pleasures.
Nature’s Lesson in Intimacy
Nature designed intimacy not just for procreation but to offer a glimpse of the divine. Animals engage in it solely for reproduction, but humans have the potential to see beyond its physicality. The joy we experience during intimacy is but an advertisement for the immeasurable bliss of the divine. Unfortunately, we often get lost in the act, seeking only our pleasure and treating others as mere instruments for it. This imbalance has disrupted families and societies, especially as women have become more aware of their own desires for joy and respect. Western societies are beginning to move past this obsession, but many remain stuck in it.
Path to Bliss through Awareness
Friends, the fleeting joy of intimacy exists to remind us of the divine bliss awaiting us. This joy is only a fragment of the eternal bliss we can experience. I am not suggesting abandoning physical relationships, but rather approaching them with awareness. After moments of intimacy, sit in meditation and reflect on the joy you felt. Try to expand that feeling within your mind and spirit. Even this conceptual exploration can bring profound happiness, freeing you from the compulsive pursuit of fleeting pleasures. You may still engage in intimacy, but not with the same desperation. Instead, it becomes a sacred act of mutual respect and connection.
This mindful approach transforms fleeting joy into spiritual bliss. Through such practices, love becomes a path to divine connection. Love leads us effortlessly toward the source of all music, all transformation—a place where everything changes, and true bliss is realized.
